I have a throbbing migraine.

I have never watched so much political debate, sat through so many news bulletins, sifted through so many newspapers and trawled through so many blogs and discussion forums. My eyes feel like they are going to fall out.

So, here we are – it’s all over bar the shouting. Come Monday, we will have to put up with the cacophony of noise from the winning party, but today, it is an eerie, unearthly silence.

So, as you sit home biting your nails waiting for the election results, here is my choice of some of the funniest moments and quotes during this campaign from various media.

* * *

- I’m proud of my DNA” (on a T-shirt)

- Attention: Whoever leaves Mepa last, please switch off the lights”. (www.x.com.MT)

- Breaking News: “Prime Minister sprains his thumb” (timesofmalta.com)

- Aghzel Labour... Inz-bleep” (on a T-shirt – isn’t it fascinating how English-speaking kids in Malta are so fluent in Maltese vulgarity?”)

- The sergeant (delivering Harry’s arrest warrant) caught on video” followed by a YouTube post of the fumbling cops from a Benny Hill sketch (on jaccuse.wordpress.com)

- Michael “The Lion” Falzon singing his heart out as the MGM lion (on youtube.com)

- PN billboard: “Gonzi jgib ix-xoghol” with aerial view of young people looking upwards for all the world as if Gonzi is arriving from a spaceship.

- Back to reception class for you!” (When someone makes a spelling mistake in their website post)

- Tears for Fears” (MaltaToday front page headline showing Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando crying)

- Spin Valley” (the name of the proposed Mistra disco... Never was there a more prophetic name)

- Spin Valley: The Western”: as dubbed by Alfred Sant.

- You never see Gonzi posing with two gays on any of his posters” – Patrick Attard AD candidate and first openly gay candidate in Malta’s history

- Jeffrey of all trades, master of none.” (www.x.com.MT) after Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando showed up at the Broadcasting Authority political debate claiming to be a journalist

- Students are anti-establishment” (Joe Saliba about students who support a conservative right-wing party)

- Paying for healthcare was never discussed at Cabinet level” (but it was discussed during a Cabinet sub-committee) – Lawrence Gonzi (sounds a bit like Clinton’s “I never had sexual relations with that woman”).

- The BA gave me five minutes of airtime. Well, they can take those five minutes and bleep bleep bleep!” Emmy Bezzina speaking in Valletta.

- How many of you here are from the South? Ok, that explains everything” Josie Muscat addressing pro-PN students during the university debate when only a handful raised their hands.

- It was the Aliens aided by the MLP who came down and switched our President with one of them so as not to grant another pardon to the 49 granted by EFA.”

- Comment on timesofmalta.com regarding all the conspiracy theories about Harry Vassallo’s failure to get a pardon.

- Santscreen” MaltaToday headline showing Sant reporting Mistra case at Police Headquarters, despite having called the Police Commissioner a smokescreen just days earlier

Best TV moments:

• Charlon “the sprinter” Gouder constantly chasing ministers to ask them questions

• 92-year-old Dom Mintoff hitting a persistent cameraman with his walking stick

• Alfred Sant bravely facing gusts of wind blowing through his hair during a mass meeting

• Alfred Sant asking “who here has a swimming pool” with Michael Falzon smiling sheepishly behind him (but not raising his hand)

• Alfred Sant visiting a pig farm (who dreams up these things?)

• Alfred Sant visiting Maghtab and not being allowed in (erm...)

And finally, words that will never have the same meaning again:

"DNA”

"Misprints”

"Paraventu (smokescreen)”

"Computer malfunction”

"DOI press card”

"Elf”

"Pinocchio”

"Watermelons”

"Bir-rispett kollu (with all due respect)”

"Ballerina”

"No regrets”

"Energy saving light bulbs”

"VAT return”

"‘Gonzi’ who will forever more be referred to as ‘Gonzipn’”

Now go pour yourself a nice big mug of tea – it’s gonna’ be a long day. jcassar@independent.com.